For women, MBA = Divorce
The numbers are in and they don’t look good. And this time I’m not talking about the economy. I’m talking about the fact that women MBAs are twice as likely to get divorced than the men with whom they graduate. As reported in the WSJ, according to a study Washington & LeeUniversity School of Law Prof. Robin Fretwell Wilson, 12% of women MBAs reported having divorced or separated as compared to 5% of male MBAs.
And why is this news?
There is a recent obsession with the “opt-out” generation, made up of women with advanced degrees who take a permanent detour off their high-powered career tracks to stay at home and care for families. For those women that remain in the workplace, struggling to succeed in a world where many high-achieving men have wives to take care of the details, we are left wondering how they do it. Wonder no more. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they don’t.
The fact is that ambitious, career-driven women are not attracted to guys who want to stay at home and change diapers. They want similarly ambitious men in their lives. And a lot of ambitious, career-driven men think they want to marry high-achieving women. Think about how many couples meet in business school, for example. After a few years, though, men realize that marrying their equal was not such a good idea, because now there is no one to pack lunches in the morning or drive the kids to soccer practice. And women realize that marrying a man on his way to the top leaves them stuck holding the diaper bag. Divorce ensues. But why the uneven statistics—that is, more women getting divorced than men? My theory is that women hold on to the illusion that they can do it all longer than men do. Men figure out earlier that women can’t do it all. They realize they want someone who will do the things they can’t do while climbing the corporate ladder—like lunches and soccer practice. For example, I have a good friend from business school who had a thing for girls in suits. He always told me he wanted to marry an ambitious, powerful woman. He’s now engaged to a woman who works in child care and is ready to follow him wherever his job takes them. I think they’ll be very happy. He figured it out.
The statistics are explained more easily though: Whereas most women MBAs will look for an at least equal partner, men will accept a partner below their academic level, that alone leads to the lower divorce rate among male MBAs - if one agrees with your logic that the woman has to be the one to take care of the kid etc.
Still 12% divorce rate: Thats not too bad, is it? How does that figure compare to non-MBA couples? I am sure it's that much worse.
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I am! You can be ambitious and change diapers too. Those qualities don't cancel each other out.
For example, I have a good friend from business school who had a thing for girls in suits. He always told me he wanted to marry an ambitious, powerful woman. He’s now engaged to a woman who works in child care and is ready to follow him wherever his job takes them. I think they’ll be very happy. He figured it out.
No, I think he'll be very happy, while she will be stifling her probable misery stemming from having to uproot her life at the whim of her husband's company. (Comment this)